I am worried my boyfriend does not want to get married

Question:

Hi  Fahima,

I am a 28 year old female and I have been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend for six years. I have expressed to him that I wanted to get married and have kids, I told him this 5 months into our relationship.  I been waiting six years at this point and every time I bring it up, he says it is not the right time. I am not sure if he will ever marry me. I do love him, but I also want to get married and start a family.  I feel like I am wasting my time. I am also not happy in this relationship and have not been for a long time.  I want to walk away but I feel afraid of making a mistake? Please help!

Sincerely,

A.

Answer:

Dear Confused and Heartbroken,

My advice to you is to start prioritizing your needs and wants. I feel that you do not need to sacrifice what you want in life for a relationship and being patient for another month or years might not guarantee that he will marry you. At times we have to look at the reality that is in front of us, instead of creating this fantasy of what it could be. The reality is that he has some reservations about marriage and is hesitant; the reality is that he has not proposed and the relationship is not moving in the direction that you would like it to move.  You have to put your needs and take control of your happiness. You cannot wait around and hope that one day he will propose, you have to make peace with the fact, that it may never happen. I would advise you to put your happiness first and if your needs and wants are not being met in this relationship, do not waste anymore time.  At the end of the day you will never regret following your heart and putting your needs first. You are worthy and deserving of having your happy ending.

Best of luck,

Fahima

Photo provided by Canva

Advertisements

10 comments

  1. We hear this over and over. Women who waste their life waiting for a man to marry them. You stated you told him 5 months into the relationship what you wanted after six years I think you have your answer. I hope you don’t waste anymore time.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Us females, we have biological clocks. Men however, have financial clocks. You must take this aspect into consideration as well because he may want to give you the world, but simply can’t right now. Although your happiness comes first and foremost, don’t forget to look at this notion regarding our “internal clocks” as well.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I do understand where you are coming from but the problem is that he does not want to get married or start a family, she hasn’t mentioned finances as being the reason why. Th woman wants marriage and her partner does not. She has been waiting to get married and start a family for 6 years. If she continues to stay he might not get married to her for another 3-6 years and she won’t be able to have the family that she wants, that is why she should put her needs first and find someone who wants marriage and kids. And since us females do have a biological clock, it is all the more reason wh she should not waste her time with someone that does not want kiyou or marriage. She has sacrificed six whole years patiently waiting with no marriage and no kids. True love does not make you sacrifice what you truly want out of life.

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.